Back in my childhood there was a TV show called “Queen for a Day” which I watched with my mother when I was home sick from school. Each show was a contest between women – mostly housewives (we called them back then) – who had endured miserable lives, dealing with one catastrophe after another.
After hearing their tear-jerking horror stories – and they really were awful – the judges chose the one who had suffered the most and crowned her “Queen For A Day,” showering her with gifts and accolades.
My point, of course, is that many pastors sincerely feel that they have been victims of horrible churches – and some of them definitely have. I’ve heard stories of pastors being shackled with pagers, denied the right to vacation time, fired while on vacation, subject to an almost endless barrage of criticisms and denunciations at congregational meetings and even punched in the nose (by a board member, no less).
With that said, let’s get back to our question: Why would a good God send a pastor to serve a bad church? Last week I described three possibilities:
Possibility #1 – Maybe it just happened. As with the idea of a good church getting a “bad pastor,” I totally reject this as a possibility. Click here for last week’s post or here for the post dealing with good churches “just happening” to get bad pastors.
Possibility #2 – Maybe you didn’t do your “due diligence.” See last week’s post.
Possibility #3 – Maybe you were simply a bad match for the church. Ditto.
Here are two more reasons why our good God may have sent you – a good pastor – to serve a bad church:
Possibility #4 – Maybe it really was a bad church, but God allowed all that dysfunction to refine your character.
Nobody wants this of course. Nobody. Most of the pastors I coach are experiencing or have already experienced difficult churches. One rookie pastor I’ve coached walked into a church which was ready to “explode” (in a good way) with life and growth. It is unmitigated joy for me to observe this rare and wonderful phenomenon!
But it is rare, isn’t it? Most pastors in their first assignments end up in challenging situations and those first pastorates last about two years – or even less. I won’t pick on rookie pastors in this post, but let’s just say that God frequently matches difficult churches with pastors who are not quite ready for the “big time” yet.
Though we all think that we’re ready for the “big time,” (big blessing, big success) don’t we?
“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.” Ephesians 4:15
(Would that our church people would all speak to us in love!)
“Do not hate your brother in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in his guilt. Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.” Leviticus 19:17,18
(Some of those frank rebukes are just what we need to hear.)
“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17
(It’s important, but being sharpened isn’t very pleasant.)
God is not punishing you through this: He’s refining you. As the Old Testament Joseph kept saying to his brothers:
“And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you…So then it was not you who sent me here but God.” Genesis 45:5 & 8 – See also Psalm 105:16-19
“But Joseph said to them, ‘Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me but God intended it for good, to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.” Genesis 50:19-20
If you’re a pastor who’s had or is having a pastorate-disastorate you’re thinking, “I know, I know, but this is hard on my family too!” OR “If this pastorate gets any worse, I’m going to end up selling insurance and God will lose a real gem of a pastor…me!” OR “Some pastors need a brutal pastorate, but not me; I’m good to go!”
If you’re still serving that less-than-a-gem of a church, please, humble yourself and hang in there. Consider this:
“In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: ‘My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.’ Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons.” “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:4-7 and 11
“Endure hardship with us, like a good soldier of Christ Jesus.” II Timothy 2:3
Have you shed your blood yet? I didn’t think so, though that guy who was punched in the nose may have. The rest of us have mostly had our feelings hurt, me included.
If you’ve left that brutal first (it’s usually the first) pastorate, please consider this also: Many of the most famous and “successful” pastors whose sermons you’ve heard and books you’ve read began their ministries with one or even two very forgettable, inauspicious pastorates.
Even if you think that you’re mature – and I think it’s a mistake to ever think that (Philippians 3:12-21) – you probably need more edge-smoothing than you think you do. Consider that first pastorate to be your trial run, your practice pastorate – and thank God that your practice probably didn’t result in any loss of life, like the rough-hewn “practice” of the new physician.
Possibility #5 – Maybe your bad church experience was about teaching you a very specific lesson.
Let’s just list some possibilities:
- As I’ve mentioned before, my first two pastorates were teaching me the very specific lesson that I had not been put together by God to be a church planter. I’m glad I caught on when I did and didn’t try a third (strikeout?) attempt.
- Many pastors need to learn the lesson that you must bond with the people before you can have any success at changing their church.
- Many pastors need to learn that their authority to lead has to be given to them by the congregation – no matter what type of polity the church purports to have on paper. Trying to simply “claim” and “exercise” your authority over an unwilling church is bound to fail miserably.
- Many pastors have to learn that they cannot put all their effort into the aspects of the pastorate which they like the best or are best equipped for. Pastors who love to teach and preach frequently neglect their need to care for and counsel individuals as well as to manage and lead the congregation. Pastors who love care-giving and counseling are sometimes guilty of neglecting the hard work of studying and teaching. Small church pastors are general practitioners, not specialists. Young pastors who want to be specialists need to seek out staff positions in larger churches and probably forget about being the lead/senior pastor-teacher of a larger church for a long time.
- Other pastors must learn that they cannot neglect their own personal relationships – especially with the church’s official and unofficial “movers and shakers” – and they cannot neglect or ignore the need for good relationships and good conflict resolution among their members. Brush fires – especially if there are several of them – tend to be blown by the winds into highly destructive firestorms.
Are either of these (#4 or #5) the reason why God allowed you to end up serving a “bad church”?
What does He want you to learn from this experience?
What does He want you to do now?
Next Week: More reasons why God may have sent you – a good pastor – to serve a “bad church.”
