You think, “Wow! I’d never do that!”
But as a pastor, who’s also a human, you know, deep down, that you could do that. Maybe you wouldn’t literally hit a rock with staff, but you could lose your temper in a board meeting, a congregational meeting or even while preaching a sermon. Without breaking the rod or the staff, you could do serious damage to your ability to lead your people.
As I shared last week, pastoral visions – especially the big, long-term, grand ones – can be dangerous. They need to be handled with care. While I believe that pastors should share their God-given dreams for their congregations with their church members, this post will explore something I’m calling “vision frustration.” Some of you will need a bit of explanation; others among you understand this already.
First let’s revisit the six ways that pastoral visions can be dangerous, which I shared last week:
(1) Visions can be dangerous when they discourage, rather than encourage, God’s people.
(2) Visions can be dangerous when they are embraced by willful, unspiritual people.
(3) Visions are dangerous when the willful person who is devoted to achieving them – quickly – is the pastor himself.
(4) Visions are dangerous when they are cast (proclaimed and described) by leaders who lack the strategy or the resources to see them come to fruition.
(5) Visions are dangerous when they lead to a perpetual cynicism about pastoral leadership.
(6) Visions are dangerous when they lead to overlooking God-given opportunities to bear fruit for His glory in surprising, unexpected ways.
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(7) Visions are dangerous when they lead to frustration, resentment and anger.
I have been there. You have great dreams for your church. Truth be told, you have great dreams for yourself,as well, which can only be realized along with your dreams for your church. But your people won’t cooperate. Like Moses’ flock, they complain and criticize. They balk and blame. In your view, they are worldly and lazy. They just don’t “get it.” You tell your pastor friends that it’s “hard to fly with the eagles when you have to work with turkeys” and “the ministry would be great if you didn’t have to work with people.”
If you’re not careful, a little frustration grows into serious anger and resentment. I wrote about the frustrated pastor just a few weeks back, but we’ve returned to this subject already because it’s so common and so dangerous.
The following are some suggestions to consider when “vision frustration” becomes part of your Monday morning routine:
(1) Don’t abandon your passion. If your people are lazy or worldly or difficult or all of the above, you should be frustrated. God is too. It’s great if your frustration is the result of a consuming God-given zeal for God’s Kingdom and God’s glory. I’m pretty sure that God doesn’t want you to turn into one of those Casper Miquetoast, burned-out, passionless, visionless pastors.
We have to learn to live with the real-world ambiguity that fills our hearts. Paul wrote of his great joy and his great sorrow (II Corinthians 7:4, Romans 9:2). He wrote of his love for God’s people and scolded them as well (Philippians 1:7, 4:1-2). Life is like that. A certain amount of frustration resulting from stymied passion is probably okay.
(2) Re-examine your motives. There’s a world of difference between being frustrated because of our zeal for God’s glory and being frustratec because of our zeal for our own glory. Is it possible that this has something to do with wanting: a great salary, a beautiful building, a big reputation, or a book deal? Talk to God about this. Invite Him to search your heart (Psalm 139:23,24 & I Corinthians 11:27-34) and show you what you may need to confess.
(3) Re-examine the vision itself. Maybe you’re frustrated because your vision is a little “off,” or even way off. Maybe twenty thousand people on forty acres of land isn’t realistic for your unincorporated village in Wyoming.
(4) Re-examine your expectations for your people. Are you expecting them to be as devoted to your church as you are? If you were completely and utterly devoted to a church before you became a pastor, it might be because God had already called you to serve His church full time. Maybe you weren’t quite normal. If you had a forty or fifty hour a week job today, with a wife and children, and served your church on the side, how much time/effort could you give to the congregation? Have you lived like a “normal person” with a normal job lately or have you forgotten what it’s like?
(5) Rely on God’s Spirit desperately. If you are seriously frustrated, you need the filling of His Spirit desperately (Galatians 5:22,23, Ephesians 5:18). In exchange for His control, He promises just as much, love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness and self-control as He has ever given any saint, ever. Isn’t this what you desperately need to keep loving the people who make you want to do some serious rock-striking?
I will guarantee you this, as James put it, “man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires” (James 1:20). In other words, your angry outbursts won’t help. Here’s the hard reality: if you’re frustrated, angry and resentful, sooner or later, it’s going to show. Your people will pick up on it. It won’t lead them to repentance or devoted living; it will make them want to keep their distance from you. Your anger won’t make them want to follow your leadership; it will make them want to find a new leader.
(6) Work on becoming paternally patient (See I Thessalonians 2:5-12). If you have children, they probably, at least from time to time, make you angry and frustrated. Like your church members, they may even – by way of their bad behavior or their sheer numbers – be keeping you from achieving your pastoral dreams. You get angry with them, but your anger is tempered by your extraordinary love and your extraordinary love gives you extraordinary patience. However disappointed you may be with their choices, you will never stop loving them.
