I realize that folks who haven’t served as vocational pastors of churches might be surprised by the titles (and the contents) of these posts I’m writing.
And maybe we should be.
But – for the most part – we’re not.
Don’t get me wrong: there are pastors to whom God has given wonderful, successful, powerful, fruitful, joy-producing ministries. I wish that this was the experience of every pastor, every day.
But it isn’t.
Last week I wrote about why the pastor’s joy is so important. In this post I’m going to list some of the reasons why it’s such a challenge. Next week I’ll share some blessed solutions.
So in no particular order, here’s why joy is such a challenge for so many pastors:
(1) Your position puts you on the front lines of the spiritual “war of the worlds.” I think this quote says it all:
“If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven – if there was anything to forgive – I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.” II Corinthians 2:10-11
(2) Your own indwelling sin is your biggest problem. I was asked about this recently:
? – “Brian, what’s your biggest challenge at this stage of your life and ministry?”
A – “My own sin.”
(3) Some churches are unhealthy enough to make it almost impossible for their pastors to be happy. We can go in over our heads analyzing why some churches are as sick as they are: family system dysfunctions, sinful leaders, bullies, a dark history, significant areas of rebellion against God…but the bottom line is that some churches are so ill that the spiritually sensitive ones among us (I don’t count myself as being one of them) can sense this as soon as they walk in the door.
(4) Many of you have impossible job descriptions. Many protestant churches have solo pastor job descriptions based on the Roman Catholic idea that the pastor is a “priest” with special powers which normal people don’t have. So instead of expecting the pastor to serve as a called and gifted leader who is part of a team of called and gifted leaders – as in Acts 14:23, Acts 20:28-32, I Timothy 3:1-7, I Timothy 5:17-22, Titus 1:5-16 and I Peter 5:1-4 – the pastor is expected to serve as a solo superstar, adept at teaching (all ages at the same time!), leadership, management, shepherding care, theological discernment, fixing the plumbing and mowing the lawn.
(5) Many of you are facing – beyond the official job description – outrageous expectations. In some churches the nightmare described just above is just the beginning. Mr. Jones expects you to visit all the shut-ins weekly. Mrs. Johnson expects you to lead the choir. Brother Bob expects you to lead people to Christ every week. You know the drill. I don’t think anyone could be joyful while facing such demands.
(6) Your job may be extraordinarily complex and even involve internal role conflicts. Trying to fulfill all the responsibilities which God assigned to teams of leaders can lead to the emotional whiplash caused by role conflicts. I explored this in The Parable Of The Headhunter.
For example: the pastor might be expected to be the sensitive and caring counselor for a church member on Tuesday morning, while expecting her to show up ready to go for the AWANA club he leads on Wednesday night, as well as the worship team practice on Thursday night. On either or both nights she may well show up late – or not at all – and remind the pastor that she is much too burdened to keep her volunteer commitments.
Then he’ll have to preach a challenging sermon to her on Sunday morning and then face her as one of his formidable board members at the meeting on Sunday evening. For good measure, her husband is the pastor’s fishing buddy, her son is making trouble in the youth group, she’s the pastor’s wife’s best friend and her daughter is dating the pastor’s son.
(7) You might be experiencing visitations from various ghosts. No, I don’t mean literal ghosts, I mean ghosts such as the former, long-serving senior pastor, who did everything well for 30 years, the ghost of a founding member who deeply embedded his values and rules and ways of doing things into the DNA of the church, the ghost of the seminary professor who said he couldn’t wait to see how well you did in the ministry (what did he mean by that?), or the ghost of your mother, who sits on your shoulder giving you the instructions she is afraid you might forget.
(8) Your own deficits, insecurities, defects and hang-ups make everything harder. Let’s face it guys: we’re all broken in one way or another. We’re sinful, imperfect, less than completely honest, far too proud and more than a bit neurotic. I know of no profession which highlights a person’s imperfections like the pastorate. Sooner or later, whatever sour juice is inside you tends to get squeezed out.
(9) Your family might be under so much pressure because of your position that they cannot offer you much support or distraction. Some pastor’s families are treated really well. Wonderful! This should be the case everywhere and always, but it isn’t. A pastor should be able to find a bit of joyful distraction with his wife and children but if his job is making their lives difficult, he’s not going to have much fun at home.
(10) You might be held responsible for things over which you have no control. In some churches, the pastor is held responsible for everything: the music, the nursery, the skills of the teachers, the pastoral care given by board members, the cleanliness of the building and the stripes on the parking lot. If he is also given the authority and resources to make all of the above gleam with excellence, that’s not such a bad expectation. If he really has no authority over anything, this is, of course, a formula for frustration and misery.
(11) You might be tormented by the “church growth demon.” This is usually an inside job. While few church members expect their pastors to make their churches grow, pastors themselves frequently experience this demon following them around incessantly. I fought this monster for almost 20 years and only ditched it effectively when I left my long-term pastorate and became an interim pastor.
(12) You might be a serious introvert in an extrovert’s job. Most church members want their pastors to act like extroverts: cheerful, gregarious, warm, talkative, lovers of parties and social occasions of every variety. The truth is, however, that many, if not the majority of pastors, are more introverted than extroverted. Besides the fact that introverts are probably more serious-minded and worn down by the sorrows of the world, introverts struggle to find joy in the activities which extroverts thrive on.
(13) The empathy and compassion which makes you a good pastor doesn’t lend itself to your being a joyful pastor. The One who was a “man of sorrows and familiar with suffering” (Isaiah 53:3) was “deeply moved in spirit and troubled” (John 11:33-38) at the tomb of Lazarus. Years of suffering and sorrow, funerals and counseling, definitely take their toll on our joy quotient.
(14) Most of your people have no clue. This is not their fault; they’ve simply never done the job. You have very little understanding of the work-related challenges of most of your church members either, but you listen to their stories with as much empathy as you can. The challenge for you is that you can’t tell your church members – who are watching your every move – what your ministry related challenges and sorrows are actually like. Even if you are considered to be answerable only to your board members, in all likelihood, none of them have ever personally experienced what it’s like to be a pastor.
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Last week I wrote about why the pastor’s joy is so important. This post explored some of the reasons why it’s such a challenge. Next week I’ll share some blessed solutions.
If you’d like to dig deeper into any of this, let me know – churchwhisperer@gmail.com. We can talk and pray and I might be able to point you to some helpful resources (some of which are on my blog here at www.helpingchurchesthrive.com).
