I’ve recently been the victim of a very clever scam artist and a big corporation which seems to not care a whit that it was complicit in the operation. As a result, the Thorstad kitchen tablet has been playing a steady stream of scam and hoax prevention podcasts. There’s an overwhelming number of these podcasts because high-tech fraud and thievery is multiplying exponentially.
As a result…back to where I started…trust is at an all-time low. Our default position is mistrust.
Even church board members, good and godly people who sacrifice a great deal of time to serve their churches, are assumed to be untrustworthy fools and charlatans.
I find this painful to watch. I’ve been an unpaid, “lay” church board member and I’ve worked with hundreds of them over the years. Some have been much better people and much better “performers” than others, but for the most part, the people I’ve led congregations with have been good souls who have tried their best to be faithful to God and their churches.
Here’s the basic counsel of God’s Word concerning how we should treat our church’s leaders (whether paid or unpaid):
“Now we ask you, brothers, to respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other.” I Thessalonians 5:12,13
“Obey your leaders and submit to their authority. They keep watch over you as men who must give an account. Obey them, so that their work will be a joy, not a burden, for that would be of no advantage to you.” Hebrews 13:17
I’m going to assume that you are a good-hearted church member who wants to obey these admonitions but, nevertheless, finds yourself struggling, at times, to trust the all-too-human board members who help to lead your congregation. Here’s some help:
- Help identify the best people you can for these roles. Whatever you believe about the terminology of church lay leaders – elders, deacons, trustees, consistory members, council members or whatever – and whatever you believe about whether these people should be males only or males and females – the group of lay people who help your paid pastor or pastors to lead your church should be the most mature and godly people in your church.
Their job, ultimately, is to lead the church by following the leadership of the Holy Spirit, as in Acts 13:1-3. The most mature and godly people you have are going to be the most likely to lead from their knees; to guide the congregation by following Jesus.
These same people should be able to hear the voice of God calling them to these leadership positions; they don’t need to be prodded into it (I Timothy 3:1, I Peter 5:2). If you have any involvement at all in the selection of your leaders, choose the folks who know Christ well and are passionate about following and serving Him.
And if you must be a card-carrying member of your church to be able to participate in the process of selecting board members, and you’re not yet a member, maybe it’s time to make that good decision.
- Make sure there is clarity on what is expected of them. Church board members themselves are typically confused about what is expected of them. I’m very big on sorting out board member expectations (see this tool), writing good, clear, accurate job descriptions and formulating board member covenants which are taken very seriously.
- Pray for them often. Whoever they are, these people are human and humans are subject to both the power of sin and the danger of foolishness. Pray that God will help them to rise way above their weaknesses to lead their churches to grace-endowed greatness. The church boardroom should be the home of humble, meek, prayer-minded, prayer-powered people. Such persons deeply appreciate the intercession of others for them (Ephesians 5:19-20).
- Press them to communicate with your church liberally. If there’s any area where I would encourage people to get “in the faces” of their church leaders, it’s this area of communication. Ignorance breeds mistrust. If your leaders don’t tell you what they’re doing and why they’re doing what they’re doing, you’re not going to trust them. In the absence of accurate information, we fill in the blanks with nonsense. Volunteer to help them communicate with the church; they may very well take you up on your offer.
- Talk to them – not about them – honestly, respectfully and discretely. Resist the temptation to gossip about your leaders. Gossip is saying negative things which the hearer does not need to hear. Amy Carmichael’s law on her mission station was, “Speak to, not about.”
You should be afraid to speak ill of your leaders, either by gossip or by speaking out disrespectfully at public meetings. But you should never be afraid to speak privately, with respect and humility, with the board member whom you know best. If he wants you to share your concern with the full board, do so, but again, do it with respect and humility.
- Trust God to lead through them. Your board members may not be brilliant, but if they are God-fearers – as they should be – God is quite capable of leading them and leading the church through them. The Biblical concept of submission to authority is founded upon this belief: by obeying God-ordained authority we are obeying God (Ephesians 5:21-6:9).
If their leadership – in your view – is consistently bad, don’t make a big stink; change churches. My friend Gus Bess says that “It’s not a sin to change churches; it’s a sin to stay in your church with a bad attitude.” Gus is right.
- Give them the benefit of the doubt. If you were in their shoes, you would want your brothers and sisters to give youthe benefit of the doubt (Matthew 7:12). You must do the same.
Here’s an important point we’ll end with: Your church board can’t tell you everything they know. They know “how the sausage is made.” They know things about each other and about the pastor which you don’t know and should never know. There are times when the best and most loving of boards must lead the church in a discipline process, remove one of their own number or even ask a pastor to step down. I wrote about that here and here.
It’s true of course, that some church boards make it impossible for their pastors to flourish in ministry, tying their hands at every turn. But it’s also true that in other churches, parishioners who know only the smiling “public face” of the pastor, ignorant of his immature or bullying behavior in the boardroom, are tempted to condemn the board for asking the pastor to change his ways or resign.
A wise board – in my view – will oh-so-carefully decide what they’re going to tell the congregation in these situations. They won’t sign a non-disclosure agreement (NDA) which prevents them from telling the congregation anything, but neither will, nor can they, tell the church everything. There are times when a board must say to the congregation: “It would not be right for us to tell you more, so we are asking you to trust us.” In the absence of compelling reasons to not do so, that’s probably what God wants you to do.
In a world in which trust in leaders is increasingly rare, God wants His forgiven and regenerated people to love and trust their leaders. I believe that He’s made it possible for us to do that.
