Solo Pastors: Here Are The Rest Of Those Ways To Keep Your Church From Killing You

I wasn’t trying to be sensational last week when I wrote about how churches with solo pastors often “kill” their pastors, in the sense of rendering them unable to continue effectively in local church ministry.

I wasn’t trying to be confusing either, but it would have been better if I had clarified that I was talking about the solo pastorate driving you right out of the ministry.

The “woods are full” of good men who have served as solo pastors who are now selling insurance, building homes or working at Home Depot.

And I’m not suggesting that these are bad things to do.

But if God has called and gifted a man to be a pastor, that’s what he should be.

I’m fine with seeing pastors “leave the ministry” if they weren’t the right men to be serving in this way in the first place.  But if leading a church is what God made you to do, I don’t want to see anything keep you from doing it.

I’ve seen pastors come up with varying strategies for being able to “stay in,” in spite of the difficulties.  Some of those strategies are good and godly and healthy and some are not.

So last week I wrote about three ways to keep your church from driving you off to Loew’s or McDonald’s or Walmart.  Two of them were poor choices; one was a good choice:

1. You can harden your heart. Not a good idea.
2. You can distract your heart. This is not a good idea either.
3. You can guard your heart. This is a good strategy.  If you didn’t read last week’s post, you can find it by clicking here.

Here’s something shocking.  I advertised seven ways, but I’m only giving you six (this might be a first).  So here are three more strategies: The first is a poor choice; the others are good choices.

4. You can stifle your heart.

This is a sad scenario that I’ve seen more than a few times.  You stay in by lowering your expectations to the level of “nothing’s happening here, but nothing’s happening anywhere else either.” You lose faith but “keep on keeping on” because you heard this phrase in seminary.

You get good at going through the motions. You settle for survival.  You’re not fruitful but at least you’re “faithful.” You don’t expect people to be excited about the gospel and they aren’t.  You don’t expect lost people to be converted and they’re not. You “hang on for retirement.”

Please don’t do this.  Your church deserves better.  Your Lord deserves better.  God didn’t call you into the ministry so you could be a placeholder.

5. You can rest your heart.

I’ve seen this with professional athletic coaches as well.  After a few years as the “main man,” the exhausted and humbled head coach steps back instead of stepping down.

There are two good ways to do this.  Many pastors leave temporarily and pursue other work for a while as a type of mental and emotional rest. I experienced this myself: after two tough solo pastorates, God gave me some good alternative ministry for a few years, allowing me to recover in all kinds of ways and get ready to return to the playing field.

God is oh-so-gracious the way He does this for many, many pastors.  Please don’t let anyone bully you into thinking you’re doing something wrong if you’re recovering your strength in some other type of work for a while.

The other way to do this is to step back into some type of associate pastor position either temporarily or permanently.  If God has made you to be the main preacher and the main leader, He’ll return you to that role in His own good time.  Again, God graciously arranges these “breaks” for us, blessing us with provision, friends and multiplied tokens of His favor. His yoke is easy; His burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30).

6. You can multiply your heart.

I’m talking about learning how to survive the solo pastorate by assertively, painstakingly, teaching, leading and training your church.  Let’s get specific:

• Become an equipper. The duties given to the one, full-time, paid elder, usually called “the pastor” here in America, can vary greatly, and legitimately so (Acts 20:28-32; I Timothy 5:17-20). In my opinion, in most cases, one of the three responsibilities which the full-time pastor should give himself to is that of training/equipping the saints (Ephesians 4:12) so that the saints can do the work of the ministry. As long as you do it all yourself, your church will let you do it all yourself.  But with a lot of assertiveness and tenacious instruction, God can transform your church from a congregation of minister-watchers to a congregation of ministers.
• Become a prayer warrior. It’s striking to me that the apostles, as the first leaders of the first church, after their unique and matchless training at the hands of Christ himself, viewed prayer as a major part of their ministries – “…we will give ourselves to prayer and the ministry of the Word…” (Acts 6:1-4). This is not beneath you.  It’s not a waste of your time: Christ himself has prayer as a major part or his current ministry, interceding for us at the right hand of the Father (Romans 8:34). Of course you’ll want to turn as many others into prayer warriors as you can, but don’t be bashful about letting your people know that you are one of them.
• Become a leader. This is another task which the solo pastor should focus on, and it’s a tall order.  Some of us need a few good books to become an effective leader.  Some of us – having started the race from well behind the starting line – need many years of studying, coaching, growing and healing before we’re ready to lead well. But I believe that if God has called you to be a solo pastor, He’s called you to be a leader.  He can and will take you through a development process and make you – by His mighty power – the leader whom you need to be.
• Become a revitalizer. Without scolding or self-pity, relentlessly teach your people why you use your time the way you use it. Get healthy and strong and assertive, without becoming aggressive.  Become a self-differentiated leader. Stand up against gossip and triangulation.  Shut down the “drama team.” Teach leadership and followership. Practice church discipline.  Don’t tolerate biting sheep or ravenous wolves.  Deal with conflict quickly and graciously.  Confront those who treat you disrespectfully.  If your leadership team won’t join you in creating a healthy church, leave that congregation and go elsewhere.

Re-arranging the order, here are those three poor ways to keep your church from killing you:

• You can harden your heart.
• You can distract your heart.
• You can stifle your heart.

And here are some good ways to keep your church from killing you:

• You can guard your heart.
• You can rest your heart.
• You can multiply your heart.