The original “Before You Say I Do” was a premarital counseling program that I used a number of times. It was very helpful.
Today’s Before You Say “I Do” post is a little different. I’m writing about some of the questions that a prospective pastor needs to ask and get answers to before accepting a call to a church.
If you’re part of a congregational tribe – in which churches choose their own pastors – you can ask these questions directly (if you dare). If you’re in an episcopalian style of denomination – with pastors assigned to their churches by denominational leaders – you may not have much opportunity to put these questions to the church leaders themselves. In your case I’d encourage you to pursue answers to these or similar questions as best you can in any way that you can.
- How are decisions made here, according to your official documents?
- How are decisions actually made here, in the real world? (Or “Tell me how your last big decision was made.”)
- To what extent does your church adhere to its constitution and/or bylaws? If they follow these closely, you at least know what the “rules of the game” are. If they don’t, you can expect chaos and power-plays.
- Who are your most influential members? You’ll want to check these folks out carefully.
- Do you have any members who have unofficial “veto power” over decisions? In some churches a patriarch or matriarch who hasn’t been an official leader for years can still “submarine” the latest proposal.
- Do you have any essential members? Members you cannot live without? One church leader let me know in no uncertain terms that the 8 people in the room with us were all sacred. I would be absolutely forbidden to offend any of them because the church couldn’t survive without every one of them. I said “no thanks.”
- Who is the current official or unofficial leader of your church? Will your new pastor be expected to assume the role of the congregation’s main (though not only) leader when he arrives? Some church chairpersons see themselves as the actual leaders of their churches.
- What does your pastor have direct authority over? (Or “What is he actually ‘in charge’ of?”) The answers here can vary from “everything” to “nothing.”
- What is the expected relationship between the pastor and the church’s paid staff members and/or nonvocational leaders of ministries? Will these leaders treat him as their supervisor, or will he be expected to leave them alone so they can do things however they want to?
- If your church has been without a pastor for some time (a year or more), is it going to welcome or resist the leadership of the new pastor?
- What is the pastor’s ministry description? Does this reflect the actual expectations of the church’s leaders and members? If the only version of the ministry description is the one found in the by-laws, beware of a phrase that sounds something like, “The pastor will fulfill the usual and customary duties of the ministry.” That probably means 100 different things to 100 different people.
- Does the church have a covenant which describes the expectations which church members have of each other? If so, how is it used? Would it ever be used as the basis for church discipline, and, for that matter, has the church ever done church discipline?
- How does your church’s board/council/consistory/presbytery – or whatever you call it – make decisions? Do they have a philosophy of leading the church as a united team or do they approach meetings with no more expectation of unity than a city council or a town board? How much do they pray together? Can/do the members of this group pray actual, spontaneous prayers or do they have to read them out of a book? Will they accept ongoing training from the new pastor?
- How does your church deal with the sin of gossip? Has it ever disciplined (as in, private rebuke, public censure or official excommunication) an individual for this sin?
- What is your church’s idea of a mature disciple of Jesus? This is a project which I believe every church should work on. If you’re trying to make disciples, what kind of disciples are you trying to make? Four churches in your town may have four different ideas of what a mature disciple of Jesus looks like.
- Once again, in the real world, what do you expect of your members? In many churches the actual answer would be “nothing.”
- Why did the last pastor(s) leave? Do not fail to track him/them down and talk to him/them.
- What does the community think about your church? Don’t ask this of church members; go downtown and ask the people behind the counters.
- What do your denominational leaders think about your church? Better yet, ask the denominational leaders. If they don’t say much, look out!
- In the mind of God, what and who is your church for? Sometimes I hear some great answers to these questions. Sometimes I don’t.
- Better yet, ask: Why do you come here or why are you a member here? This is not easy to “tease out,” but it’s a sad fact that some churches are mere conveyors of information, social clubs, family reunions or political rallies.
- Can you tell me names of lost people in this area whom you are seeking to win for Christ? It’s not a good sign if you hear, “I’m too busy serving my church to bother with lost people” or “I don’t have any contact with lost people.”
- What are your expectations for the pastor’s spouse and children? Better yet, ask the former pastor’s spouse and children.
- In your church, who is the pastor’s boss? Who is he expected to submit to and who has the authority to dismiss him?
